in my life, i want
a solar eclipse
i want to help people
i want to help animals
i want to make people and animals get along as much as possible
to climb trees
to kiss and be kissed, to befriend, to be gentle and kind and forgiving, to be more patient and caring, vigorous, passionate without fear, grateful without question
i want a house, to go back in time, to have grass, to have a cow, to have many cows and if at all possible a farm, to wake up on the farm, to paint and watch the sunrise
i want to have a child and to surround myself with people who i care about
to praise nature
to learn, re learn, r elearn, rel earn, to never stop learning
go to an opera
paint things that are beautiful
and to appreciate things that are beautiful, even sadness
My friend Johanna's pottery. She creates ceramic bowls that look like they were formed in the ocean. They look like aliens live inside of them. They contain creatures and nebulae and lichen and feathers and chocolate, all in their glazing. I have a surplus for all my dying mint plants.
Mint plants. Because when you take real mint and you make a tea and add lots of sugar and some lemon, that is the best thing for your stomach.
The film Tree of Life.
Children. Because nothing has given me more purpose or comfort or happiness than working with children. With children, I am allowed, encouraged, expected to be silly, excited, curious, awkward, innocent and funny. I love hanging out with kids and listening to them tell me stories and I like making up stories with them.
Bees, of course. Bees have been on the planet since the Tertiary period. The same period where mammals overcame the giant reptiles.
The poem, I Sing the Body Electric.
The books To The Lighthouse, Sula, Wuthering Heights, My Antonia, Lolita, Venus in Furs, Tess of the d'Urbervilles and the works of Carl Jung.
Playing pretend. Pretending I am someone else. Pretending that everything is different. Imagining myself on one path while I walk on another. Pretending that colors are different, people are different, places are different. Imagining, creating, strengthening the place in my mind that only I can go, the only place I can touch, the safest place.
Being in love, but I say this with caution.
Farms, farming, cows, sheep, ducks. Fields. Grass. Quiet. Quiet, gracefulness, simplicity.
Moments. Moments strung together. We are swept from one moment to the next, relishing in the intensity, the succulent, bursting, pleasure of color, texture, sound, rhapsody. And as we connect from one moment to another, we're building webs of memory like a spider. Every seconding we're shifting between moment (memory) moment (memory). Here is where God is.
at 2:58 AM